i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
