I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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