So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
