Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
