maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
