Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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