she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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