when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
