I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
dude. I can hear the air.
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