Kiss
Puke
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
two words...techno handjob
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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