Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
