what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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