I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
