sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
