I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
