I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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