Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
