What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
