Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
