it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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