I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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