Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
this will be a night to untag.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
