Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.

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(484): Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date. http://tfl.nu/zs6r

Replies (22) Good night (506) Bad night (3284)
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(951): View more from California

My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

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(951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate? http://tfl.nu/77q7

Replies (77) Good night (7075) Bad night (1228)
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(256): View more from Alabama

from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.

(334): View more from Alabama

i do.

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(256): from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot. (334): i do. http://tfl.nu/nohm

Replies (14) Good night (5502) Bad night (1162)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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(+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s

Replies (14) Good night (1673) Bad night (3474)
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(419): View more from Ohio

So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1

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(419): So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1 http://tfl.nu/tz8w

Replies (35) Good night (6685) Bad night (1110)
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(646): View more from New York

He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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(646): He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was. http://tfl.nu/uwpx

Replies (24) Good night (1095) Bad night (5718)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on

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(512): I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on http://tfl.nu/0aek

Replies (12) Good night (5005) Bad night (1398)
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(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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(248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre

Replies (3) Good night (3059) Bad night (1007)
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(850): View more from Florida

We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

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(850): We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it. http://tfl.nu/y27d

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (2891)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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(479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb

Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (490)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(702): Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/ihoh

Replies (25) Good night (3216) Bad night (591)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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(847): She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night http://tfl.nu/5dv7

Replies (8) Good night (1456) Bad night (488)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.

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(775): Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture. http://tfl.nu/1sw6

Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (319)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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(781): I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about http://tfl.nu/ocbn

Replies (4) Good night (400) Bad night (638)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music

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(405): My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music http://tfl.nu/k5xa

Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (230)

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