Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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  (248): Well apparently he's into motor boating. http://tfl.nu/kjue
  Replies (3) Good night (1305) Bad night (582)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  dude why did you let me call her?!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...

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  (803): dude why did you let me call her?! (1-803): i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation... http://tfl.nu/4h0w
  Replies (11) Good night (933) Bad night (2492)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

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  (214): In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong. http://tfl.nu/vlez
  Replies (29) Good night (7621) Bad night (767)
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  (530): View more from California

  I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.

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  (530): I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/7iib
  Replies (54) Good night (4588) Bad night (747)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (4730)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.

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  (850): She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed. http://tfl.nu/7kwk
  Replies (10) Good night (3156) Bad night (809)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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  (248): i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia http://tfl.nu/d416
  Replies (7) Good night (1436) Bad night (4250)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man

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  (614): I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man http://tfl.nu/8rsc
  Replies (9) Good night (4230) Bad night (918)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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  (918): Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job http://tfl.nu/tafk
  Replies (7) Good night (2892) Bad night (667)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

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  (815): My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vh8b
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (3672)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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  (850): They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here. http://tfl.nu/6x4c
  Replies (3) Good night (2552) Bad night (545)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.

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  (715): Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me. http://tfl.nu/2k2c
  Replies (11) Good night (2497) Bad night (764)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.

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  (513): Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse. http://tfl.nu/2bnv
  Replies (1) Good night (969) Bad night (451)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing

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  (203): this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing http://tfl.nu/0rfp
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (314)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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  (617): Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though. http://tfl.nu/qelj
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (805)

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