I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"