On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
