my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
