He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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