: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
