that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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