She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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