About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
