My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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