How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
