She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
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Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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