my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I love having hate sex.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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