Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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