I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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