I got her a Nickelback box set.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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