Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
