dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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