I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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