Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We are all done wearing pants today
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
