when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
