You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
