it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
