It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
