Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
