yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
