dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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