i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
