Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
