bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
