i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
