so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
