meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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