All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
