You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
