do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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