i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
