His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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