She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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