you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
