He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
