ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
