Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize