At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
