His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
