i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
